Put Your Phones and Cameras Away (Uncle Bob)
In the photography world, there’s a common “Karen”-like term used for the random person at a wedding with a camera who often gets in the way of the hired photographer(s). Because that person is often an older gentleman with a DSLR or point-and-shoot, or God forbid an iPad, photographers affectionately refer to these people as “Uncle Bob.”
A common "unplugged" wedding sign, which for some reason, often goes ignored by some wedding guests.
Fortunately, the younger generations (Millennials and younger) are usually very respectful when an officiant, invitation, or sign reminds them that it is an “unplugged” event and to leave the photography to the professionals. But for some reason, this reminder seems to go unheard by some of the older generations (like the older “Gen X’ers” and “Boomers”). Maybe it's the novelty of having technology that can do this sort of thing, something they didn’t have when they were younger. I mean, have you ever looked at a wedding album from 20+ years ago? Or have you even seen a wedding video from a wedding 20+ years ago? We get it. Things have changed drastically over the last couple of decades as digital cameras and phones have become better and better for amateur photographers. It could be that these people think they are providing a special gift to the couple, or they want to have photos to show off to family and friends. They will film the bride walking down the aisle, the first dance, and special speeches and then send these photos/videos to the couple or post them on social media. However, here’s why that is not a desirable “gift.”
Respect the couple’s wishes. If the couple requests an "unplugged" ceremony, it’s usually because they value a more personal, less tech-driven atmosphere. Honoring that wish is a simple way to show respect.
Just enjoy the moment! You have been invited to share in a special day by someone who considers you important enough to be there. Just be present! You have not been hired to capture or document the day. Share in the emotions and joy without being glued to a screen.
As hard as you try, your phone can disrupt meaningful moments with ringtones, message alerts, or light from screens.
The professional photographers’/videographers’ images and footage will be so much better. They have been hired to document the day and have the skills and equipment that will provide the results of the couple’s vision.
It is rude to try to “one-up” a professional by posting photos or videos of a couple’s special day before they do. Art takes time, and the photos and videos of their wedding day are often the couple’s way of “announcing” their nuptials. They may want to control what images are shared on social media. In addition, a couple may not have any downtime to go on social media for up to a couple of weeks after the wedding, if they go on a honeymoon. Give the couple and their hired vendors the chance to post these milestone events before you steal their thunder and blast it all over the internet.
And probably the biggest reason: YOU GET IN THE WAY. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to capture a bride walking down the aisle or a first dance and there is someone standing in the aisle or holding up an obnoxious device in the way. Those are so distracting to a composition and sometimes render images unusable. You really don’t want to be the reason the photographer isn’t able to capture the first kiss or final dip. Sometimes there are multiple photographers, videographers, and content creators working together, and adding another person into the mix with a camera or phone can throw their entire plan off balance.
So please, Uncle Bobs of the world, leave your cameras at home and your phones in your pockets. By all means, have fun taking some selfies and group pictures during the reception. But keep those devices put away during the important moments of the day and let the professionals do their jobs! We promise…putting away your phones and cameras isn’t about restriction; it’s about presence, respect, and creating a more meaningful experience for everyone involved.
Disclaimer: I took this photo at a wedding a couple of years ago because I thought it was cool…a picture of a picture! Thankfully, this lady was not standing in the aisle or getting in the way of any professional photographers; she was simply holding her phone up in the air for a quick photo.
Kimberly Cauble…
…is a teacher and wedding & portrait photographer in the Charlotte, NC area who has been photographing families, seniors, and weddings since 2012. She has photographed over 95 weddings and loves people, the art of photography, and sharing what she has learned with others!
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